Consistency

Consistency.  I'm not talking about the how creamy the gravy is, I'm talking about doing things over and over and over again. I think it is one of the most fundamental principles of life. You must eat consistently. You can't over eat one day and not have to eat the rest of the week, it just doesn't work that way. You can't sleep for 24 hours then stay awake for the next three days with the same energy as sleeping 8 hours per night.

It's the secret that makes simple things illusive. People who want to lose weight have heard that you will lose weight if you exercise. That's only partially true. You will lose weight only if you exercise consistently.  People who want to get out of debt know that they must make sacrifices of their wants and save to pay off debt. True, but it only works if you do that consistently. It's easy to try something one time. But it won't do anything for you until you've done it over and over during a period of time. Which is tricky, because that requires faith.

It takes faith to motivate yourself to do something difficult consistently when you're not seeing results. Humans like fairness when it's in our favor. It seems fair that if I do something one time, I should see a result one time. Not if I do something 100 times, I see a result. It's not always easy to eat healthy. But imagine that you had no evidence that eating healthy actually made you healthy... wouldn't it be harder? That's how it is for people (aka, all of us in some regard) who are inconsistent. We try something and we don't see it working. So we think it doesn't work and we give up.

It takes consistency to change. Effort exerted over a long period of time. We don't see the results for a while. But the cool thing is that with true change, the results keep coming and coming, consistently. :) If you start to try to be kinder to people, you may not notice any change immediately. It may be hard for you if you're used to being mean and sarcastic. Only over time will people begin to trust you more and open up to you. The fruits of your consistent kindness come later down the road in the form of strengthened friendships. One-time effort is not enough for a reward. True change is what gets results, and that is only accomplished through consistent effort. You won't have any huge change. Because change isn't huge. It's very small. It can only happen at the rate at which you grow. Living life and especially, having experiences determines that rate.

It takes consistency to see an increase in spirituality. You may feel the spirit if you're reading the scriptures one time. But only when you study consistently will you be more and more likely every day to have just the right scripture pop into your head when you need it. If you pray once, that is great, a bigger act of faith than not praying at all. But when you pray consistently, only then will you really see progress in your prayers. I think part of the reason for the delayed results for changing in life is for us to prove our intent. You wouldn't trust your usually selfish acquaintance if they were suddenly nice to you, because you'd suspect they have an ulterior motive, i.e., want the one-for-one ratio of blessing to effort.  It takes maturity to be consistent, or rather I should say it builds maturity.

Our Heavenly Father also wants us to prove our intent. If we pray only once a month when we need a blessing, it's better than not praying at all (just like being nice once a month is better than not at all); but if we really want to have true results, we need to do it consistently. Because when something is hard, requiring us to sacrifice, it really brings out true intent. There are classes intended to "weed out" people in certain areas of study. Professors purposely make things difficult, requiring students to sacrifice. Only those with very strong and true intent will be sustained through all those consistent sacrifices and efforts. These are the students who deserve to get the ultimate reward of the career of their choice. Professors want all their students to succeed. But by pressuring them and requiring them to sacrifice the professors and students learn a lot about the students' true intent.

It's the same with our Heavenly Father. He purposely made this life difficult. He knows it requires work and discipline and sacrifice to serve, donate, pray, study and learn. But He wants to give us a chance to show our true intent through consistently doing those things anyway. All it requires is faith to actually do those things.

Dave Ramsey's 7 Baby Steps

HA. Ha. Haa.

It's funny because it's true and you laugh so you don't cry ;D  

But yes, debt. Ew. 

I'm like the opulence guy...

"I like the best. But I also like savings da money."

I definitely try to make smart financial choices, although of course sometimes I make mistakes. But I've had a budget that I've TRIED to stick to!!! For the last 3ish years, I've tracked every purchase and made payments on my debt. I have a little debt from my car, a lotta from school, and just a tiny amount from my recent gum surgery. 

I've always been pretty good at not getting financially out of control, but I've never really felt on top of my finances. As they say, "If you don't control your money, it will control you." That's how I'd sometimes feel. Like I was living paycheck to paycheck and trying to get my debt paid off and just not making any progress. :/

It was on my mind a lot especially because at work we were setting lifelong goals. I wanted to make sure I was being smart about my money, not just going along for the ride. Another quote I love, "Money is a a game. You have to figure out how to win it together."

I really, really, really liked this pin I came across. So simple. Yet, it's been making all the difference for me. In the last couple months I've been trying to get my financial house in order. 

I've made all the bills that I can automatic. I used to pay them manually, because I would sometimes get my paychecks late, etc. and I didn't want it to overdraft my account. But I sat down and planned out which bills would come out of which paychecks to make sure they were semi-evenly split between my two monthly paychecks. Then I set up auto pay for them all a few days after my paycheck is due. It's awesome, because I'm not worried anymore if my paycheck is a day or two late. It's nice to have that stress gone. Now I just have one manual payment per paycheck, and the rest just get taken out, including some automatically going into savings.

Because the first step is to build an emergency fund! This is so important. I've always felt wrong somehow about saving while I was also trying to pay off debt. Dave Ramsey says that's a common mistake, that people think it's one or the other, when really they should do a little of both. I love this, because I've had little financial emergencies where I just need a little more money, and I've borrowed from my loving sis, but I hate having to live with that worry. It already feels SO NICE to know I have just a few dollars in the bank just in case. My plan is to save and put half towards a $1,000 emergency fund and half towards other things, like dental work and fixing up my car and stuff.  Then, once those things are all taken care of all of my mula is going to go to debt repayment.

Seriously, it will be so nice to just be that financially stable:) But after a small savings and getting those odd expenses paid for, I'll be able to start really focusing on my debt. By then my gums will probably be paid off, so I'll focus on getting my car paid off then snowball that towards school. I should be out of debt in about 2.5 years, which will be awesome!!! My goal is by April 1, 2017, which will be my 27th birthday. (Weird...)

There are a few more steps after that which are just as important, but these first couple are what I'm focusing on for now. It feels so good to just have a plan and know that I'm getting in control of my finances and I can feel good about where I'm at, even if I currently have debt and even if I'm not a zillionaire. :)

Here's a link to Dave Ramsey's website if you want to check it out.

Lent

In 2014, lent begins Wednesday, March 5 and ends Thursday April 17.

I'm a Mormon, and won't attempt to describe lent to you, so here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lent

Essentially, it's a period of time before Easter during which the faithful show increased faith, penitence, and self-denial.  It's not traditionally observed by Mormons, but every year when it comes around, I get inspired by my friends who do observe it as part of their religion.  I think it's something everyone can learn from.

So this year, I'm making a concentrated effort to give up a couple things "for lent" and be a little more generous.

The Resurrection of Christ, Carl Bloc

What about you?  Can you make a commitment to give up something to be a little closer to God over the next few weeks?
One thing I like about lent is that it doesn't last forever.  Because some things are impractical to live without forever, but they can be sacrificed for a few short weeks. Like buying clothes.  But for other things, it's a doorway into giving it up forever, like road rage or swearing.
It's just something interesting to think about.  It's like the "Christmas Spirit," but for Easter. And instead of overloading our lives with stress and buying presents, it's about simplifying and purifying our lives and hearts.

Come Over Here and Gimme Some Suga!

Happy New Year and all that, I've made some resolutions.  They're very flexible this year, and so far they've been great at guiding me.  One is to do something every day to improve myself (physically, spiritually, financially... just in some way something out of the ordinary).  The other is to consciously serve someone (go out of my way to do something selfless for someone) every day.  It's really made me examine my life, and it's been great so far:)

On the same track as resolutions... since I got braces, I've been a little more conscious about how much sugar I eat. I have always been a sweets kinda girl, not so much a potato chips, or even soda, thank goodness. I just love treats! I've been aware that I should be more public health:) and stop eating so much sugar, because it's not healthy for me, but despite previous attempts, I've never really cut back.  My weight's never been an issue, and it's hard to motivate myself just by "knowing" it's healthier.  I thought I'd be better about it now having braces, but I really haven't been.  The last few days though, I've been testing my willpower.  When I reach for a sugary treat, I've stopped myself a few times.  When ever I think to myself, "This is the last one..." I stop and don't eat it.  It's been really exciting!  To actually see that I can exercise my willpower and make improvements.  I mean, it's only been a few days, and I know I'll never get to the point when I no longer eat sugar, but it's already boosted my feelings of self-efficacy.

Yummmmmaaay!

I think one reason it's been easier for me to decrease my sugar intake is getting a gym pass because I've been working out a lot more lately.  I studied public health, and my area of interest is everything to do with weight, eating, body dismorphia, society's stigmatism, etc.  

People sometimes ask me, which is more important, eating healthy or working out?  The answer isn't what they want to hear, but it's really "Both."  They are two wings of the health airplane.  Neither is sufficient.  Together, neither has do work as hard.  

But.  If we're talking about weight and it's strictly math, then I'll tell you: diet is more important.  I say this because it's far, far easier to control calorie intake than to work out.  Eat one chocolate chip cookie, it takes 20 seconds.  But it takes about 30 minutes on the treadmill to burn those calories off.  Wow, right?  Daily caloric intake can vary by literally thousands of calories, but we can (sustainably) only change how many calories we use up by a few hundred by working out.

But human beings aren't that mathematical.  We don't eat for math.  We eat for emotion, pleasure, society. And working out helps control the appetite.  Some say they're hungrier when they work out.  True.  BUT they have fewer cravings.  Because while hunger, or the physiological need to eat is increased, appetite, or the psychological desire to eat is decreased.  So you might eat more at meals, but you won't be binging or eating as many treats. And your higher muscle mass will burn more calories.

Exercise bathes the brain in healthy and happy neurotransmitters.  That is why exercise is always encouraged for people dealing with psychological issues.  When you get that stimulation, you need it less from other sources.

So, maybe a better way of saying it is that intake is more important than output when it comes to weight. However, intake is best managed by a) proper intake habits and balances b) working out. So, yeah, both are essential, their's just no getting around it:)

Shuga Shuga

Today's post is dedicated to sugar.  Kind of the way I'm dedicated to sugar.  I majored in public health. I try to live a healthy lifestyle, you know, fruits/veggies, whole grains, sleep, physical activity.  If I have one Achilles's heel, it's sugar. I just love me some sugar.  In basically every form.  When I was diagnosed with dairy allergy, I had to give up ice cream (I have almond ice cream sometimes, or sorbets, but they're just not the same). Since cutting out milk, cream, cheese, ice cream, cream cheese... my diet's gotten healthier, but I still eat cookies/chocolate/treats every day, sometimes multiple times a day;)

Over the last few weeks I've been getting the message that I need to be eating less sugar.  I keep talking to friends who tell me their worried about diabetes, just trying to be healthier, etc. and they're decreasing their sugar intake.  I've been in the "contemplation" stage of change:) I know there's too much sugar in my diet, but there are barriers to cutting it out.  For example: I love it.

But I've committed to my first baby step of change.  Because I'm serious about this.  Diabetes runs in my family, and also in our country...so I want to get serious about not overworking my dear pancreas.  I've decided to try this:  no sugar before lunch or after 8:00pm.  

It reminds me a little of a roommate I once had (who shall remain nameless) who gave up food after 8:00pm and felt the need to force her diet on us all whenever we ate something at night by saying, "uhhh, you really shouldn't be eating.  It's too late." Well maybe I'm hungry!  I still eat late when I'm hungry, I'm just eating real food, not sugar.:)

Anyway, I've been trying it for the last few days and it hasn't even been hard:)  Which is why I chose to start with such an achievable goal;)

I will probably add some better guidelines to help me stop eating so much sugar in the future.  I feel like the less processed sugar/foods you eat, the less you crave them. We'll see how it goes!

I'd Like a Little....Perspective.

"I'd like a little...perspective.  Fresh out, I take it?"

Today's post made me think of one of my favorite movies, Ratatouille. I could write an entire blog about my love for and belief in cooking... but for now I just want to nod to a quote from the movie because yesterday I was blessed with a little perspective.

Before we get started though, one of my favorite quotes from Anton Ego the angry food critic, that I quote all the time.  In response to Linguini's jab that Anton is thin for someone who likes food:

"I don't like food!! I loooooove it! And...

"

Anyway, Anton comes back ready to destroy the restaurant Gusto's reputation.  When he arrives, the waiter asks him what he wants.  

Mustafa: [taking Ego's order] Do you know what you'd like this evening, sir? 
Anton Ego: Yes, I think I do. After reading a lot of overheated puffery about your new cook, you know what I'm craving? A little perspective. That's it. I'd like some fresh, clear, well seasoned perspective. Can you suggest a good wine to go with that? 
Mustafa: With what, sir? 
Anton Ego: Perspective. Fresh out, I take it? 
Mustafa: I am, uh... 
Anton Ego: Very well. Since you're all out of perspective and no one else seems to have it in this BLOODY TOWN, I'll make you a deal. You provide the food, I'll provide the perspective, which would go nicely with a bottle of Cheval Blanc 1947. 
Mustafa: I'm afraid... your dinner selection? 
Anton Ego: [stands up angrily] Tell your chef Linguini that I want whatever he dares to serve me. Tell him to hit me with his best SHOT. 

Then, of course, the song starts playing in your head.

Over the last few months, I've been on a journey and I feel like it materialized into a spiritual awakening yesterday.  It was my 23rd birthday:)  I was chatting with some friends and we started talking about something  I've been thinking about for months.  Particularly well articulated by President Uchtdorf in his talks Of Regrets and Resolutions and Forget Me Not: "Forget not to be happy now."

I've been trying to make a lot of life decisions lately.  I graduated college.  Now what?  I never before realized that my life plan culminated with that accomplishment.  I just figured my life would pretty much be set by now:) There are a lot of paths ahead, big choices.  Marriage, grad school, masters and doctorate programs, career choices, debt.....

A lot of things.  I've been a little scared trying to look at the fact that I don't know where I will be in 5, 10, 15, 20 years.  And that I can't know.  I can't know.  Sure, I can plan.  I need to plan.  But there will always be uncertainty until it's over.

Anyway, our conversation.  We were talking about relishing what we have and allowing ourselves to be happy in uncertainty.  Not just to "live in the moment," but to choose to enjoy things as though the outcome doesn't matter.  Because, really, the outcome doesn't determine present happiness.  Even if it all ends badly, is that any reason to be unhappy now? If you have to deal with dissapointment later, wouldn't you rather have times of hope and happiness to look back on rather than only dread, doubt, and going half way? If it ends well, won't you feel silly for wasting all that time you could have been happy?

Example 1: My friend broke up with a girl a few weeks back.  It was really hard on him, but one of the things he really regrets is not enjoying what he had when he had it.  He only dated her for a few weeks, and he would come home from seeing her every night and be stressed and worried and freaked out about where it was going and what he wanted and what she wanted.  He wishes he had just enjoyed and cherished those few weeks while he had them.  Maybe it wouldn't be so hard for him to let go now if he had.  Point: he was putting his happiness on hold over worries that didn't end up mattering.

Example 2: For about a year, my friend has been stressed out over this guy who kinda wants to date her, but won't commit and won't meet her emotional needs.  He's a great guy.  But I know she would have been happier if she could move on.  I felt a little hypocritical as I was later talking to my roommie about a guy I used to date.  I sometimes still struggle with dating other people because he left such an impression on me of how great a guy can be.  My roommate told me that she wanted me to be able to let him go, because what we had wasn't that amazing.  Sure, he was an amazing guy, but I never fully had him and I certainly didn't have him now. Being able to fully let go and not worry helps me be happy dating amazing guys who do want to be in my life. Point: I was putting my happiness on hold because of something that isn't really pertinent.

I have spent a lot of time lately thinking through scenarios, worrying about what path to take.  I spend  a lot of time worrying about things that will never happen.  I worry about getting another degree, the possibility of marriage and a family, career... I want the attitude of, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."  I don't have to worry about planning the best year of a grad program to get married; or when I should have my first kid. Those things are not relevant in my life and to my happiness right now.  Of course, I should take things into consideration and be flexible, but I tend to take it to the extreme and worry about choices I will probably never have to make.  

I just want to be filled with love for the people around me and enjoyment of my life today.  To snatch little pieces of happiness as they come to me, rather than waiting for the big, perfect, happy life situation.  Because that will never come.  So what if I'm a new mom as I'm working on my grad program? I'll figure it out.  So what if I'm not top of my class?  It will work out.  I just want to enjoy the imperfect, small victories of every day.  Enjoy what brings me happiness now without worrying where it will take me in the future.  Without grieving over things that haven't happened and don't matter.  

Anton's face as he is offered perspective.  I had the same face as I sat in my bed writing in my journal, realizing that I just want to appreciate and enjoy what I have, while I have it and not worry about the past or future.

Then he happily devours his meal.  

And turns into a turtle-neck/beret-wearing weirdo.  But we still love him and his new-found happiness.

New Year's Resolutions

Rosi, being a creep;)

 I'm thinking about what I want to resolve to do in the year 2013.  2012 is going to be pretty hard to top. I graduated college.  Bought a car.  Got my first REAL job.  Got certified to do HIV testing and counseling.  Bunch o' stuff.

However, I've learned that the best New Year's resolutions are not the huge-o ones.  In fact, the best (by far) New Year's resolution I've ever set was a very simple one.

I would consider myself a well-rounded person.  A Renaissance Woman, if you will.  And so I usually set several goals for things I'd like to improve upon in all areas of my life, even though I know that's not the best way to set achievable goals, because I just can't help it.  But about 3 years ago,  I didn't have the gumption to do an end-of-year life inventory.  But it didn't take an inventory to notice that my bedroom was constantly a wreak, and that my clothes rarely made it to the closet.  With my hectic freshman lifestyle, I'd usually do my wash, dump it on the desk, and just wear my clothes from there till they were all dirty again.  It was a vicious cycle.   So resolved to never go to bed with out putting my laundry away.

And I never have since!  For the last three years, my room has been unbelievably cleaner.  It was easy to remember, (I didn't have to consult my goal chart in my journal) and even when I was suuuper tired and ready to fall into bed, I made myself put away my laundry.  I got incredibly fast at it :)

So what's it going to be this year???